can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
