I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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