just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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