I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
