We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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