question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
