i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
