we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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