i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
