I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
