all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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