I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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