I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
