I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
