did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As shirtless as possible
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
