It was confusing and full of hummus
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
