She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
