i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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