Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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