? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
