i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
