Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
