So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
