need another drink. this is the easiest way
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
