When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
