i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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