We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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