no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
