Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
