Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
