wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
