Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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