I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
