hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
