lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
