Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
