You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
