i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
