he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
