What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
