does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
