Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
