my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got inside last night via doggy door
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
