I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
