you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
