You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
