how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
