he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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