Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
