I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So vagazzling was a success
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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