R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
